Inspirational funny work quotes

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 30% on Wednesday, 40% on Thursday, and 100% on Friday.”

“Work hard so you can shop harder.”

“I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.”

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

“Work hard, nap hard.”

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

“Do what you love, and you’ll never have a problem with Monday.”

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“You don’t have to be crazy to work here; we’ll train you.”

“Monday is a reminder that coffee is amazing.”

“Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team.” – John C. Maxwell

“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.”

“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”

“Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.”

“I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me.”

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

“Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.”

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful… and probably need coffee.”

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”